Having and Raising a Baby in Bozeman. Good Idea or Bad Idea?
My wife and I are trying to have children. It was one of the reasons that we moved to Montana.
Now, keep in mind, and I'll get in trouble for this, but we're past our "peak" years as far as "raising children" goes. We're both in our 40's, but she will remind you that she is closer to her "30's" than I am. If I'm completely honest, thinking of being a parent seems both exciting and scary at the same time.
Will we be any good at being parents? Will it come naturally, or will we have to work at it? Will we automatically love the child, or does it take some time? Will we ever get to sleep again? If we adopt a child, will we love it as much as if it was our own? Will we be able to afford children?
I mean, we live in an apartment and that might work for a bit, but at some point, we will need a house, and how in the world are we going to afford a house here in Bozeman? Plus, what about daycare? Daycare is crazy expensive here.
These are all real questions that I have.
I don't doubt for a minute that my wife will be an amazing mother, because she's an amazing person. My fear lies in if I will be a decent father or not.
Here is the truth, and once again, I'm being totally transparent, I don't really like a lot of kids. At least not kids who are whiney or misbehave all the time. What if I get one of those children? Worst yet, what if I get a kid that's exactly like me?
I fear I will fail as a parent. Listen, I've failed in a lot of things in life , I failed the 8th grade, I failed College Algebra, I've had failed relationships, I've failed jobs, and I totally believe that failure is the pathway to success. However, failing as a parent doesn't really seem like an option to me. It's not like I can be "well, I messed that one up, let's try again."
I wish there was a manual, but I've yet to find one. It seems like there are a whole lot of questions and not a whole lot of answers, except this one. Almost every person that I talk to that is a parent tells me the same thing. It's the toughest job that you'll ever love. When I asked if they'd do it all over again, they almost always say "Yes".
So, even though we're "old" and even though there's more questions than answers, I think we're going to give it a shot. Wish us luck. We're going to need it. Oh, and if you have any advice, please share.