As the world watched Charlie Sheen‘s nuclear meltdown in the days after he was canned from ‘Two and a Half Men‘ last year, a lot of people couldn’t help but find the irony in the word he used to describe his situation: “Winning!”

But hindsight being what it is, Sheen now reveals in an interview that he shares that feeling, saying he was “in total denial” during that dark time.

The actor, who stars in the upcoming and aptly-named sitcom ‘Anger Management‘ (which debuts on June 28th on FX), recently told Rolling Stone:

Clearly, a guy gets fired, his relationships are in the toilet, he’s off on some f-cking tour, there’s nothing ‘winning’ about any of that. I mean, how does a guy who’s obviously quicksanded, how does he consider any of it a victory? I was in total denial.

But that doesn’t mean he’s now the poster child for sobriety. His troubled ex-wife, Brooke Mueller, recently checked herself back into rehab after reportedly spending four hard-partying days with him. Other reports dispute that, saying it was actually Sheen himself who tried to get her help.

Regardless, a bottle is never far from the actor’s hand.

“I mean, the sh-t works. Sorry, but it works,” he said. “Anyway, I don’t see what’s wrong with a few drinks. What’s your drink? Tequila? Mine’s vodka. Straight, because I’ve always said that ice is for injuries, ha ha.”

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