Looking for a good time? Montana is a huge state, but it has a relatively small population. Therefore, you won't find nearly as many gentlemen's clubs as you will in states with a larger population. There are only four gentlemen's clubs in the entire state. We wanted to learn more about them, so we headed to Yelp to read reviews. We weren't prepared for what was in store. Some of the reviews had us laughing hysterically.

Hilarious and Weird Yelp Reviews of Montana Gentlemen's Clubs

In Montana, your options for gentlemen's clubs are few and far between. Only four exist in the state. When you visit any of those establishments, you usually have two things in mind; being entertained and enjoying yourself. Unfortunately, for some patrons, things don't turn out as planned.


Using Yelp, we put together a list of some of the most hilarious reviews of Montana's gentlemen's club. Some of them are comedy gold. We'll reveal the list shortly.

The Four Strip Clubs in Montana

Planning a party with your friends? Here are a few places where you can walk on the wild side.

Gallery Credit: Will Gordon

If you want to learn about the reputation of almost any business, Yelp is a fantastic resource. So, what do people think about the gentlemen's clubs in Montana? For the most part, the reviews are positive, but it's hard to please everyone. Here are a few of the funniest reviews we found.

Review for Teasers

"Where are the dancers?"

Usually at a strip club the women come up to you and ask you if you'd like a lap dance. Usually, they can be quite aggressive. That did not happen here. If you wanted a lap dance you had to go find them, and they were not easy to find.

"What's that smell?"

The pole dancers really knew what they were doing. I would've stayed longer, wanted to BUT.. It smelled like musty azz. They need to air it out. It was bad.

Reviews for Fox Club Cabaret

"Why me?"

I've been kicked out 2 times for doing nothing but being me. It's frustrating because I mind my own my own business, pay for drinks, and even tip them.

"My ex loved this place!"

My ex-husband used to love this place. He ended up meeting a new woman while here and that soon caused our divorce.

Reviews for Sagebrush Sam's

"It stinks!"

This place is dirty and smells like vomit. The men's bathroom is disgusting. The girls are lame and sit around playing with their phones.

"Unsatisfied customer"

It's the ghettoest [expletive] I've ever been to.

Reviews for Planet Lockwood in Billings

"Hole in the wall."

It's a hole-in-the-wall place in Billings. The building is old and the men's bathroom has never been cleaned. There are still stains on the toilet from years ago.

"Danica wasn't into me."

I really liked Danica but she wasn't into me so I wouldn't go private with her. Ivy was good at first but pissed me off and I left.

For clarification, these were some of the worst reviews that were shared on Yelp. Not all of the reviews were bad. To read more of the reviews, visit the Yelp website.


Thieves are constantly thinking of new ways to steal the identities of hard-working Montanans. Experts say that by not carrying these items in your wallet, you can protect yourself.

Gallery Credit: jessejames


Looking for fun things to do on your Montana vacation? Here's a list of the most popular places in the Treasure State.

Gallery Credit: jessejames

More From 100.7 KXLB