Just tell them you have diarrhea.  No one ever questions that.

A new survey asked bosses to name the DUMBEST excuse they'd ever heard from an employee trying to get out of work. And if THESE are the lies people tell, they really need to learn to lie better. Here's the top 10:

#10.) "I dyed my hair the wrong color."

#9.) "My dog is scared and I don't want to leave him."

#8.) "I drank too much and fell asleep on someone's floor, but I don't know where I am."

#7.) "I'm taking a bath and my toe is caught in the faucet."

#6.) "My pants split on the way to work."

#5.) "The dog ate my shoes."

#4.) "I hurt myself during sex."

#3.) "I'm stuck in the house because the door is broken."

#2.) "My girlfriend bit me in a 'sensitive' place."

#1.) "My mom just died" . . . from an employee who'd used that excuse once before.

(Source:  Daily Mail)